6 weeks, 4 days

Today, I went in for an ultrasound because I've been experiencing some light bleeding over the last few days. I really haven't been worried. Current research suggests that bleeding, even during the 1st trimester, is quite common and does not always mean impending miscarriage. However, during the procedure, we found that the embryo does not have a heartbeat, and measured 6 weeks, 4 days. I should be entering week 8, (which is still less than I thought, but a 40-day cycle does throw things off a bit; in a 28-day cycle, I should be entering week 12.)

Suprisingly, I'm not devastated. (There's no doubt that I would feel differently if infertility was an issue.) But, even with infertility out of the picture, I would be naive to think that I would never miscarry. It is estimated that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage; many women may not even know that they are pregnant, attributing it to a heavy period. (I think we all know at least 1 person who has miscarried, if it is not something we have personally experienced.) Furthermore, I don't believe miscarriages define how many spirits Heavenly Father will send to each home. He knows the number, and there is always wisdom in it.

Additionally, there is great value in personal experience. If for nothing else, I am grateful for the ability to empathize with others.

Being reminded how fragile and miraculous life is instills deeper appreciation for what we already have. I will definitely be hugging my sweet kids a little longer tonight!

You all know, from my previous posts, how difficult it has been for me to wrap my mind around getting pregnant again. Thankfully, to this surprise pregnancy, I am excited and willing.