Tuesday, June 9, 2009

6 weeks, 4 days

Today, I went in for an ultrasound because I've been experiencing some light bleeding over the last few days. I really haven't been worried. Current research suggests that bleeding, even during the 1st trimester, is quite common and does not always mean impending miscarriage. However, during the procedure, we found that the embryo does not have a heartbeat, and measured 6 weeks, 4 days. I should be entering week 8, (which is still less than I thought, but a 40-day cycle does throw things off a bit; in a 28-day cycle, I should be entering week 12.)

Suprisingly, I'm not devastated. (There's no doubt that I would feel differently if infertility was an issue.) But, even with infertility out of the picture, I would be naive to think that I would never miscarry. It is estimated that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage; many women may not even know that they are pregnant, attributing it to a heavy period. (I think we all know at least 1 person who has miscarried, if it is not something we have personally experienced.) Furthermore, I don't believe miscarriages define how many spirits Heavenly Father will send to each home. He knows the number, and there is always wisdom in it.

Additionally, there is great value in personal experience. If for nothing else, I am grateful for the ability to empathize with others.

Being reminded how fragile and miraculous life is instills deeper appreciation for what we already have. I will definitely be hugging my sweet kids a little longer tonight!

You all know, from my previous posts, how difficult it has been for me to wrap my mind around getting pregnant again. Thankfully, to this surprise pregnancy, I am excited and willing.


Brooke said...

Sorry. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was incredibly painful (physically), but mentally I was okay. I had to have a D&C, and did it in the dr's office with no pain medications. . . I don't suggest it :)

My first pregnancy was a surprise. I wasn't planning on starting a family the month I got married. After that miscarriage though, I realized I really did want a family and I wanted it now. A month later I was pregnant with Mr. Isaac.

Raising children has been hard. So hard (as I type this Ainsley is throwing a fit about something). But I wouldn't change any of it for the world. It does remind you to appreciate what you have been blessed with!

I am glad you are okay! Love you!

Lara said...

I'm so sorry, Tiffini. I had a miscarriage that was eerily similar to yours between Bria and Chloe. I should have been 10 weeks, but when the bleeding started it looked more like 6 weeks. I'm glad you're doing okay, though. It's still hard no matter what.

The good news is, I got pregnant with Chloe almost immediately after the miscarriage and I hear that happens often. Looks like Brooke experienced that, too.


cassie and dan said...

that is tough, i miscarried the month before i got pregnant with our baby girl. it was so hard for me. im glad you are dealing with it better than i was! but you are right, and once i just let it go, and realized, you know everything happens because there is a plan...i was fine. just the initial shock was hard. hey whats your address? i want to invite you to something.

ctsessions said...

I am sorry Tiffini. You are so wonderful. Way to stay postive. Love you!

BandHGardner said...

I'm sorry. I am glad you are able to deal with the situation with so much perspective.

I hope your recovery is a healthy one. You, and your family will be in my prayers.

Love you.

Lacey said...

Sorry to hear that Tiffini. I have never experienced a miscarriage but like you said know lots of women who have.

I'm so happy that you have a great attitude about it. Just because this pregnancy was a surprise doesn't mean it's not hard to accept!

I'm glad your okay!
love you!

Karli said...

Oh Miss Tiff... that is something I hope to never experience. You are a trooper. We are lucky to know all that we do. Without the gospel I don't know how we'd survive all that we do.



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