Wednesday, January 20, 2010

will I ever get out of this funk?

I seriously feel out of sorts. And, it's scary to think how often this theme keeps popping up! I mean, really, what is wrong with me?

Did any of you even get Christmas cards this year? Nope, because I didn't send any out. As Christmas continued to sneak up on me, I thought I would do the second best thing and at least email a newsletter and picture to everyone - even though I feel like it's a lazy and impersonal way to send out Christmas cards. Granted, it does save a lot in postage! Did I at least make an effort to do that? Nope. Okay, so our Internet connection went buserk on Christmas Eve and we had to wait until January 6th before a tech-guy was available to fix our connection. But, you would think that I had prepared something before Christmas Eve. Nope. (Yes, you read that right! We had to wait 2 weeks without internet AND phone - since it's a package deal - before they could get someone out here to fix it. Apparently, even all their on-call guys were completely booked during the holidays.) For some reason, Christmas Day just did not feel like Christmas to me this year. Not sure why. But, I sat and watched my kids opening gifts feeling completely detached from the holiday. I wasn't in a bad mood, or sad, or anything; it just didn't feel like Christmas! (...maybe it's 'cuz I didn't get our Christmas cards out!)

New Year's came and went without much ado. Then again, it always does. We never stay up to watch the ball drop; in fact, this year, we were in bed by 8. Of course, Jason had worked an 18-hour day plowing snow the day before. And, I had just returned from my Grandma's house. My family was in town, and it was so fun to see them. I spent 3 days with them at my Grandma's because I was snowed in...a great unexpected twist to their whole visit, but 3 days is something I'd much rather be prepared for, ya know? So, I didn't feel like I enjoyed it as much as I could have, had I had a change of clothing and contact solution. Thankfully, I had thought to bring pj's for the kids because of our long cardrives home, late at night. I even took each of them a change of clothes, in case they wanted to play in the snow. Meanwhile, I wore the same clothes for 3 days and slept in my contacts. (BTW, Uncle Brian and Jackie: Laci has brought up playing with Sienna at least 3x since we saw you guys. She keeps wanting to go to GG's house to play with her, and I have to explain that you guys went home to WA. Sounds like those two really had fun!)

The return to routine after the holidays has been a lovely breath of fresh air. Laci is still loving preschool and gymnastics. In fact, this Friday we'll be going to see the Utah Gymnastics girls team perform because she got a free family pass at her gymnastics class. I've also added going to the library once a week, and the kids are loving reading from different books every night - and renting movies different from what we already own!

And, here we are with our lease coming to an end February 1st. We know we want to move, and we've looked at several houses, but just can't decide what to do. Do we rent or buy? There are pros and cons to each. Furthermore, we were recently approached by one of Jason's coworkers to invest in a short-sale in the area we're looking. We could pick from the list of houses he has, and live in it till we sell it and split the equity, but short-sales are a 6-9 month process - and I'm just not sure that I want to be moving with a newborn in tow. I would much rather move in two weeks and get it over with. But, we can stay here for as long as we want mont-to-month once our lease is up, and leave when we're ready with 30-days notice. It seems like a no-brainer. The guy is even willing to repeat the process as many times as we want until we accumulate enough to buy a house with cash! He just wants to invest in real estate while the interest rates are still good, and prices are relatively low. Who would be crazy enough to pass up an oppurtunity like that?

I'm torn! I want to move so badly, it makes my skin crawl! (This has not been a great neighborhood or ward for us.) We could be in a new house, in the area we want to live, in two weeks time - and be all ready for our new bundle of joy. I even started boxing up the non-essentials two weeks moving preparations have begun earlier than any of our other moves!

On the other hand, do I pass up a really good opportunity because I don't want to wait around here for an additional 6-9 months? Do I pass up an opportunity to buy a house with cash - if all goes "according to plan?" By now, I've certainly learned that nothing goes according to plan. How many moves would that take? And, should I let my apprehension for having a newborn during our next move - and a young baby with all our subsequent moves - get in the way of such an opporutunity? Heck, we of all people should know that the real estate market is really crappy. (Sorry, lacking for a better word.) I mean, that slump is the reason why we're here in the first place? Who says we'll be able to sell the house right away? Furthermore, we hardly know this guy! Is he trust-worthy? Does he work with integrity in all his business practices? I just don't have an answer to that question. Maybe I'm paranoid because we've run into a lot of less-than honest scumbags while running our own business.

Is it just too good to be true? I am so tired of waiting! I'm so tired of living in limbo! Will I ever again feel like my life is on track? Sigh.


Audrey said...

These are really tough questions. I do think that if you decide to do the house thing with this guy, you realize, like you said, it most likely will not go as you planned. Can you afford to make that mistake at this point? It is such a personal issue. Best of luck.

Mariley Johnson said...

I totally know how you feel about getting in a slump. Sometimes i get that way and can never figure out what's going on. Hope you feel better soon. And good luck on your moving decisions.

Lacey said...

You are not alone!

Candie said...

Tif, we've always been right there with each other no matter the miles! I'm right there with you!!! I am also stuck in a slump and can hardly wait to move. Perhaps something will come up unforseen now. The Lord always has solutions :)


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